do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
