"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
