Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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