Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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