I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
