At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
