Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
FUCK WHALES
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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