I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
