In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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