I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
