i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize