Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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