I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Boobs are out for the taking
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
