I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
