i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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