I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
