With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
