I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
