Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
