Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
