That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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