Me too!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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