I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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