Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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