Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am one with the molecules
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
