its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
