i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just gift wrapped bread.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
