he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
