I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
