Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
