everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
