Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
