i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize