420 ftw
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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