so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
