He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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