U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
