what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
