First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
