i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
