Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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