**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
