omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
