I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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