why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
