At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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