is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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