Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
