Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
