im holly from the hills drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is my gift to your gina
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
