Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
