I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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