Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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