Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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(415): View more from California

If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%

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(337): View more from Louisiana

My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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(530): View more from California

Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.

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