Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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