Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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