It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
