I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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