you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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