We named our party play list daddy issues
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
this is an emotional support booty call
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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