shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
