You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
