At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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