Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize